i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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