It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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