Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
did i walk over a car last night?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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