Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
