2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
