very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
