chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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