using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
