Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she smelled like a LAN party
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
