Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
