I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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