Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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