Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
