Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize