Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
