So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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