I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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