I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
