Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
