I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
