so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
