i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
