When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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