3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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