Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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