Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
