You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
