I wish I only lived at night.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My ATM looks so different sober.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
