u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
