Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
