you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This is the high leading the old right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
