Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
