First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
