I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize