Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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