That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
