Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
only if we run a train.
done.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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