dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize