a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
