we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
