Your face is a jimmy john
I just pynch a tree in the face
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize