so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
