It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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