It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
