Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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