She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
