Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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