theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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