Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
