you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
