The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
