There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
