so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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