so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
