Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i now understand why vodka
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
