Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
