I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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