it wasn't lemon gatorade
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
