I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
