I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
