I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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