the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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