I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
