you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
