please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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