remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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