I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
